The Zombie Forecast Gift Guide

The Holidays may be coming up, but that won't keep the undead from devouring your brain like a Turducken. What better way to tell someone how much they mean to you than by getting them a lethal weapon? Nothing says loving like showing that special person you don't want them to be eaten by zombies. For your shopping consideration, here is the Zombie Forecast Gift Guide.


Crowbar

The undisputed choice for melee weapons, the crowbar is your very best friend when facing a swarm of zombies coming at you like Black Friday shoppers. It's lightweight yet it still packs a punch, can easily be driven through a zombie's eye socket, and in case of emergency, can be used to pry open a difficult door. For a more festive approach, paint it with red and white stripes to resemble the world's most lethal candy cane.


Austrian Steyr Assault Rifle

Nicolae's weapon of choice, nothing says "Happy Holidays!" like a firearm that can turn someone (or more accurately, someTHING) into swiss cheese. Lightweight, lithe, and oh-so very deadly. Just make sure it's not loaded and the safety is on when you wrap it. Accidentally firing one of these off while trying to unwrap it can be quite the buzzkill.


The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

This is pretty much required reading for any citizen who'd like not to be turned into people-bacon during the Zombie Apocalypse. A helpful little tome to keep on your bedside table. And besides, what else would you be reading? Twilight? Fuck off.







28 Days Later

There haven't been many contemporary zombie movies which do the genre justice. But with the emergence of The Rage Virus thanks to the cerberus-like harbinger of the tweenocide known only as The Jonas Brothers, 28 Days Later is both an entertaining watch and a pretty accurate representation of what you may potentially be facing.





Fruit Pastilles

Just because you'll want to cut down on the sugar when you're on the run, doesn't mean you shouldn't be gorging yourself right now, does it? Of course not. You can't usually find these fruity little bits of delicious goodness in North America, but you can order them from FoodIreland.com.





Donate Blood

It's better to give than it is to recieve, especially when it comes to blood. This Holiday Season, why not go down and donate some blood for those who need it? You've got ten pints of the stuff inside of you; surely you can spare a lil bit to help those in need? Besides, it's better to give it to the living than to the living-impaired, isn't it?