New Strain Of Zombie Gene Found In California, Arkansas, Florida and Arizona

This is an urgent message to all readers in the states of California, Arkansas, Florida and Arizona. On November 4th, a new and incredibly dangerous strain of the zombie gene was discovered in those four states.

The Gene is known as Stoopi-D-T, named after it's owner, Drake Thomas Stoopi. Stoopi-D-T seems to effect not only the brain, but the heart as well. Warning signs of Stoopi-D-T include Massive discharges of bile and fecal matter from the mouth, irrational paranoia, inability to think independently, and nonsensical, repetitive babbling.

The most troubling aspect of Stoopi-D-T is that in all four states in which it has been found, over 50% of the population is infected with Stoopi-D-T. In fact, 52% of Californians have been diagnosed with severe Stoopi-D-T.

How can you protect yourself? Well, it is important to remember that those with Stoopi-D-T are dead on the inside and the out. While those with Stoopi-D-T don't look any different from regular people, the symptoms are fairly obvious, and if confronted with someone with Stoopi-D-T, it is reccomended that you do not hesitate to eliminate those with the disease. If you encounter someone with Stoopi-D-T, it is imperative that you destroy both of the infected sites: The brain and the heart.

I repeat, when faced with someone with severe Stoopi-D-T, destroy the brain and heart, since they are obviously completely useless once infected.

However, GAZA lab researchers are currently looking into possible cures for Stoopi-D-T. Only time will tell if society can create a cure for Stoopi-D-T.